E006- Appreciating Home and Gaining a Global Perspective Reflecting on Experiences

James Doran (00:06.894)

Hello and Welcome to the expert pod. My name is James, I'm your host and today I'm with Rebecca. Do you want to tell everyone where you're from?

And you've lived?

in 2021 me and my Irish partner decided to move back to Sweden. So that's where I'm now So to sum it up, it's more or less 12 years in total a real European traveling journey So welcome to section one of the podcast this is all about getting there and as you said in the introduction You've lived in so many different places, which is amazing also must be quite a headache to think back of

how you got there and all the places you've been to. So can you just elaborate on that?

each location and what was the story of each of them?

James Doran (01:45.839)

and I've always wanted to work in travel so I was like first step towards that will be like you know being you know at a level where I'm confident speaking English so I was like okay what can I do and I actually started out as an au pair so you know like girls can do it guys can do it and it's a great way of kind of like having a first introduction to a country because you don't necessarily have to think about accommodation or a job I mean the job is being an au pair but you don't have to work you know your logistics are

like you know what kind of job can I find and the papers that goes into the job so I went on to Au Pair World found this lovely family in Mercy which was the little island and for me was perfect because I come from an island so to move to like a big city like London it felt way too big so yeah that's that's how I was like okay great you know I've got a job as an au pair and after that I just booked my flights so that was the first way of getting into the country I was being really well taken care of

care of. I was looking after three little boys and yeah it was a great introduction to a country because it was like a first feel for the country with without the headache of like sorting everything out. So that was my first experience of kind of like moving abroad and then I think six months on I was just like I just love it I just live love living abroad you know I want to continue on that journey so I went back to Sweden for the summer and just to earn some money and because I'm a Manchester United super fan

I've always dreamt of having a season ticket out at Trafford, so I applied for one not thinking I would get one, but I did. So I was like, okay, great. I'll move to Manchester. And at this point, I was a lot more confident because I got to a point where I was just like, you know, I can communicate in English. I think it's all about that kind of self -confidence as well because when I was living at Mercy, it wasn't like London. I couldn't surround myself with Swedish people. I had to actually go out there to make new friends and I arrived in January and this is a very popular summer.

and there was like nowhere to go, no one to hang out with, so the only place I did go was the pub, because there was the only place I could go and watch football. And it kind of just gave me so much kind of confidence that like I can go here and I can socialize with the locals, and they accepted me for being one of the locals. So I was like, I can do this in Manchester too. So yeah, next was moving to Manchester. A lot more research going into that, because I had to find a place to live, and I also had to find a job. So first of all, I started to look at what kind of...

James Doran (04:15.439)

of accommodation can you find in Manchester and I quickly realized that like finding an apartment for yourself which is quite a common thing in Sweden you know that was out of the question so at this time there was Facebook but there wasn't any Instagram and people weren't like you know super into Facebook just yet so you didn't have all these kind of social groups where you could gather information so I just had to do like Google research and found all these websites called rent a room yeah so I put up put up an ad and then booked and

for a week arriving into Manchester and basically like had a week to find a place to live so there was a lot of viewings some went well some didn't go so well and then eventually I found this lady who was renting out her daughter's old room and I was like it's a bit outside the city but again I was like I wanted to find something that I felt you know I'd rather live a little bit outside the city because to me it was important to have a home where I kind of felt safe and being taken care of and she was really that

kind of character that she was, you know, like I moved in and the next day she was like, okay, I'm going to show you the area. I'm going to help you with like a bank account, et cetera. So she actually got me my first job and that was in a pub. So kind of her. That's the thing with people from the North anyway, except for the North as well. It seemed to be very open to everyone. Like there's like a North South dividing and rivalry, you probably know, but people from the North were friendlier, will help everyone out and people from the South.

Don't do that. I'm sure it's not.

Maybe she took a pity on me as well because I mean I was you know about to turn 20 and you know I said I'm gonna live in Manchester because I'm gonna watch Manchester United for the season and having no job But no it just worked out perfectly and for me it was like you know to me it was important to find a place where I kind of felt comfortable living rather than like finding a flat share in the middle of Manchester only to be cramped up with other people that I didn't know and you know something that I wasn't too happy with so she got me like a couple of hours in a

James Doran (06:17.167)

I think that's perfect for Manchester. But how long did you spend there? And was it a good season for Manchester United that year?

James Doran (06:47.087)

I got to see two amazing derby games against City. I also saw them losing to Leeds at home and they hadn't played Leeds for many years. And I went to some amazing away games. I think it's not always the end result, it's always about the sunning in the sands and enjoying it, which makes it a fun sport. So then London, talk to me about why you moved down to London.

Afterwards, okay. Yeah, so then I'm here to London and I actually remember sitting on the bus Arriving in to Stansted sitting on the bus thinking how am I ever gonna like living here? Because to me it was like I mean Manchester was big but I had been in Manchester before so I had a feel for it or as if London I I'd been to see friends, but I was just like I couldn't get my head around Where's the center of London? How am I gonna get to know anybody here? Because you know 10 million people or something like that living in London is the same as the whole population of

So I was like, I'm gonna hate it here. But again, I was like, it was really about like just finding my place in the city. So we ended up living in a part of London called East Finchley, which is North London, where it just really felt like a community itself. And I think for me being like from a small island, it's more, it's all about like finding, you know, that one thing like that makes me feel that like, you know, in the bigger perspective, like this is my bubble. So yeah, I continued working with children. So I had worked in a crash when I was

I was living in Manchester, so I became a nanny ended up working for two lovely families And yeah, then I was just trying to kind of like find social groups where I could meet other people So, you know with a job I met some lovely people because there was a lot of internationals also working as nannies in London But then you know, like I I love football and I like playing football. So I also try you know, like, you know, all these football groups Yeah, that's how I got to London and then I don't know like two years living in London. I just

Loved living in London and loved how anonymous I could be. It's amazing for a city with so many people. It can be quite a lonely place I would go and not speak to anyone for a whole day But you see so many people because everyone claims quite insular as well Yeah, and I just think it's amazing for such a big city that it has so many different parts It's like, you know, you can really have your local pub, you know, and and you know, I had my routines like I had my cafe

James Doran (09:09.775)

and you know, like I would have gone to the same pub washing the football all over and over again. And you know, some people I would recognize, some people were new to me, so it was really like a bit of both and yeah. Living where I was living as well, it was very kind of residential, it was very green, so it didn't really feel like living in a bigger city, but at the same time, the city was always there, you know, like, you know, if I wanted to have like the bus, you know, I could always jump on the tube. So two years in, I was like, I love living in London. I didn't think I was going to, but...

So then when you finished in London, was that after the two years? Is that when you went to Italy? Yeah, so I went home for a while and then my previous boyfriend, he moved to Italy because of his job. So I went back to Sweden and then, you know, I followed after him just to for a couple of months to do like an Italian course in Barcelona, in Bologna. So, yeah, I didn't have to like sort any accommodation out or like any job. So this was different. So I actually did a bit of study. That was very nice as well. It was a very

different experience to having lived in England because you know I think for a lot of English speakers you know like you know you don't really think about it unless you're actually like you know putting yourself in a situation again where you have to like basically like learn a whole new language like arriving into the UK or to England at least you know like I can communicate in English it was just more about like you know improving my self -confidence and really putting myself out there whereas if moving to Italy like I did Italian studies but again it was like

It was really about putting yourself out there again and trying to communicate in Italian which you know It's a it's very difficult then and you know, especially like, you know, if you have to get things done You can order food and you can order drinks but when it comes to important documentation, it's quite difficult asking for directions to quite an obscure place might be No, I don't know, they don't speak so much English. They can but we choose not to like I were in France, it's a similar situation as well. But then so you

You've been to Italy and then you moved to Basel, and afterwards? I was back in Sweden for a couple years and then, well, to do some studies myself. So I tried to study to become a travel consultant because I just wanted to work with travels. And it was a two year course, but it allowed me to do some internships. So, you know, I went back to England for my second internship because I just couldn't let go of England. I also used my summer break to go back and work as an au pair again, because again, it was a great opportunity to go back.

James Doran (11:39.375)

and not having to think about getting an accommodation or another kind of job. So yeah, I went back to London and then I got a job in the travel industry working for a travel operator because I wasn't finished with London. And then, yeah, again, well, then I met my current boyfriend who's Irish and he happened to be in London on a work transfer but he was actually based in Barcelona. So that's why we moved back to Barcelona. So yeah, again, arrived in Barcelona, had to find a job, had to find a place to live, had to deal with

You're gonna say Catalan is quite common there, which is more like Dutch?

But then in my head I was trying to say Spanish things but what came out of my mouth was some mix between Spanish and Italian. So in the end I didn't feel comfortable enough like speaking. Just speaking Latin then. So yeah in Barcelona it was we found an apartment in Barcelona which is the area which is next to the beach and I think again it was just really about finding my little bubble and I loved the area for like how local it was. There was a lot of local people living there and it was next to the sea so I felt right at home. It was hot.

Which is quite important, I think, as well.

that when you move abroad as much as you want to kind of engage with the locals it is much easier to kind of connect with other internationals because they share the same experiences with you. They're also on the lookout for maybe new friendships so I think you know them being in an international company and in a project where you know like you have a mix of Swedish people and under Scandinavian people and German and English like a lot comes easier to you like it almost comes free to you because you don't have to go out unnecessarily.

James Doran (14:08.911)

look for it, you know, like there's people there and you know they want to hang out too. Yeah it's one thing I've noticed since moving to Sweden as an adult basically, is you move alone and everyone's got their established friendship groups and people I'm friends with are more international than local because of what you said, there's even your family aren't here and you haven't got your pre -established groups so it's easy to join a group of internationals who are looking to explore a new city or...

up for doing things which are local. Like I wanted to go curling and do like random Swedish stuff which people from Sweden maybe didn't want to do because they've always done it where it's like yeah it's something new it's interesting let's give it a go. And then I think lastly you're...

You were in Ireland, right? So, then again, you're boyfriend going back home? Well, after Barcelona, we were a bit like, you know, maybe not that we were necessarily looking to settle down, but yeah, the next place we wanted to like, the next place we were living, we wanted to maybe own. We didn't really see any potential places to like live in Barcelona for, I think it was going to be very hard because of, yeah, the lack of job security and I wanted to be close to someone's family and, you know, we had started to talk about having children. So, yeah, we were like,

Is it gonna be Sweden or is it gonna be Ireland? So yeah, we decided on Ireland or maybe I decided on Ireland for the two of us But yeah, we moved to Ireland because I thought it'd be a lot easier for me because I already speak English I ended up staying for three and a half years before we moved back to Sweden So yeah again, we moved to Ireland You have to get all your papers and all that but funnily enough It was like I started looking for a job and then I saw on LinkedIn that one of my old colleagues that were still based in London working for the

operator that I had previously worked for. They were looking for staff in Dublin and there was a company in Dublin that had just been bought over by the London company. So they were like, why don't you send me your CV and I'll put it forward to the HR manager in Dublin. And that's how I got my first job. And that's the only job I had while living in Dublin. And for me, it was quite amazing because on my second day in my new job, some of my old work colleagues actually walked in through the door. And then the reason for moving back to Sweden was the particular driver.

James Doran (16:19.727)

I think it was like after having Kian, which is my son, that was also a very different experience to maybe having had him in Sweden because I mean obviously I don't have anything to compare to but like I would have only heard like what it's like to be in Sweden and you know like I'm familiar with the Swedish system etc and then having him in Ireland and you know the lack of kind of family around you know all my family around and then second year and his second year like his first birthday was in

lockdown and then you know again it was a very hard lockdown in comparison to Sweden again and you know couldn't see my friends and family for a very long time we didn't really know when can we travel back next and you know like when they're so small there's so much like happening daily and it was just like you know I know Sweden and Scandinavia in general they're such great places to kind of have kids there's like you know I think our first quote for like a crush in in Ireland you know it was 1200 euros and it's free right in Sweden

It's not free but I think we are probably paying around like 140. Wow so it's yeah, 10 % of the cost. It was the headache of finding a place in Ireland as well because over here it's like you put your kid on the list and it's actually up to you know your local community to kind of find you a place within you know like a guarantee of four months or something like that whereas if an island is really on you so it was the stress of that and then coming from Sweden as well you know I was like I'm definitely going back.

to work. But then when I returned to work, you know, well, the first kind of like reaction I got from my colleagues were a bit like, we didn't think you were going to return to work because in Ireland, there's a different kind of, you know, like a lot of women, they become stay at home moms, but they still have like young children, which for me, it was just like, I couldn't do it that way. You know, like I was really looking forward to go back to work at that point. So yeah, I don't know, like when it all came to it and especially like, you know, the lockdown, it just, you know, made it easier for us to kind of make it.

decision on like okay let's go back to Sweden. Amazing and yes that kind of brings a nice picture of your travel life and concludes a good first segment of the podcast so thank you. Welcome back to the second part of the podcast all about being there.

James Doran (18:41.165)

So it's trying to understand your experiences, your first impressions of each of the places you've lived. Honestly, there's a long list. We've talked about your experience of language, what it was like there, how you learned it, and how you made friends, and how you kind of got around your day -to -day life. So I guess we'll start off with England. You kind of talked about the Au Pair work, which we quite well contained, but we live in Manchester.

How you made your friends, obviously you used it in the pub, in sports. Was it difficult? Was it easy? Did you find it? There were some strategies which were better used and how did it compare to Italy or Spain or Ireland? I think in terms of like...

Finding friends. Well, my first experience of living in England and being an au pair, you know, I really had to go out there to make friends because I wasn't in a workplace. So, no, I wasn't automatically like surrounded by people. But then again, you know, like I met other girls and guys that were also working with children. So it was more like, you know, okay, so, you know, I can see that you're also minding some children. So in our free time, you know, like we would plan little trips or go into the cinema or cafes. It was a great way of -

kind of like meeting people and I'm still in contact with a lot of them on Facebook, which is lovely. When I was living in Manchester it came a lot easier to me because even though I had traveled to Manchester on my own, I had like a friend from before. I knew he was gonna move to Manchester at some point, but I didn't really know him. He was from Norway. Then he knew of somebody and then I knew of somebody. So we all kind of came together as a little gang and you know like the one thing that we had like in common was like going to you know all the matches. So I would work in one place.

How did you find the accent? The UK's got so many...

James Doran (20:47.471)

I don't think I had any troubles like understanding it. Not in comparison to a person from Liverpool or... Yeah. And funnily enough, it's like when people hear me talking now, I'm not so aware of it. But you know, my partner would have said, you know, like when he first met me that like, you know, you sound really British. But you know, that's because he's very Irish. But now after having been with him for, you know, coming up to eight years, like people tell me that like, you have an Irish twang.

I was gonna say you do have a bit of an English quack. It's the use of the word like, it's quite common. Which, I don't know, I just picked it up. Like, to be honest, I haven't even thought about it. I think, you know, like having spent time around like English people when I was living in England, you know, like I just adapted to their accents. So, you know, by the time I moved back to Sweden to do my studies or to Barcelona, I would have said, you know, car.

But now, after having lived in Ireland, I say car. And I don't even think about it, so I think even in Manchester, like, there were certain words that I just adapted. Like, I would have said, you know, I was working in a creche, so we'd gone through all the, like, children's rhymes and nursery songs, and the way they said, you know, they wouldn't say pick up, they'd say pick up. So that's how I would have sang the song. It's so interesting language and the nuances of it.

in one language, so which I'm learning slowly in Sweden, like the f*** sound from the north is yes, and then like people who when they're thinking go, errrr, I mean like a constant throat noise, well you just wouldn't expect from a language it is quite interesting. It's nice to have the variance versus boring, because I've noticed when I've been in Sweden, I've sp -

speaking a lot more slowly just so I become more understandable but also because of that I think I speak more American because with media especially the growth of Netflix and everything else and everyone's used to the American English not British English which can be quite annoying but you don't have to think okay how would someone know what I'm saying but understand it so you kind of think of the American

James Doran (23:10.573)

terms and use them. So my girlfriend, when I first came to Sweden, I was saying like city rather than city and not balancing my teeth and she was like you're not speaking English anymore, stop it.

But I mean English, it's like, you're not aware of it, but it's like, it's actually a very, very hard language to learn because it's like, and things that I didn't realize, you know, so we would have, we start learning English in Sweden at the age of 10. And like you said, you know, like a lot of it is American English because that's what we pick up from telly. And I think kids these days, they pick it up from YouTube as well. So they, you know, like they know how to count before they're 10. But like when I first,

When I first moved to England, I was living with a family, they were all speaking English to me in their own accent and then I was spending a lot of time with the grandparents as well and they were great, you know, they took me out on like, you know, day trips and stuff like that. And I remember one thing that we were like doing in the car was like, you know, they said you have to get like difference between, you know, a chip.

c -h -i -p and a ship and you know that's not something we would ever learn in school but it's obviously two different words it means two different things what is to i can't say the sound very well in swedish and i get the the extra nouns always get them wrong i i think that word is is this and then my colleagues go no i guess it's just you need the exposure and the repetitiveness of it which is

maybe why it's harder for an English speaking person.

James Doran (24:45.485)

to learn Swedish because everyone speaks English so well here. Whereas at least no one speaks Swedish in England, really, as a second language. So you're forced to speak English, which is a benefit for everyone who is learning a second language. There is a place in Gothenburg though called the Language Cafe. Yeah, I've heard. I need to find me time to go because I saw they have a group for Mandarin. But yeah, Swedish is what I need to learn. I'll definitely hopefully attend some in spring. So after Manchester and move to London,

That's where my previous boyfriend was living at the time. So obviously I didn't have any friends when I moved to London and working as a nanny So again, I wasn't surrounded by you know people I wasn't in a workplace But yeah, I met another couple of like I think this was in around the time where you know like, you know people were using Facebook a lot more than you know, they Well previous two years So I started to kind of like look for groups online, you know, like are there any nanny groups in North of London?

I met a couple of people and then I really wanted to try play football as well. So, you know, I well I

I looked up a couple of football groups and did a couple of trainings with different groups. So it was a good way of meeting people. I didn't necessarily make any friends because it was more local people that were engaged in these groups. But yeah, what I take away from my London experience was this one Italian girl and it was very funny because I lived in East Finchley and we had just moved into a basement flat. And this girl, an Italian girl, we had connected and typed, well sent each other a couple of messages.

Like on Facebook, but her English was quite poor So like I tried to kind of like say shall we meet for a coffee, but she she didn't get my message so I was like, okay is it even worth like trying to arrange a coffee date here because Like she clearly didn't understand me We were still friends on Facebook and then one day I just saw that she put up pictures from the first snow and I was like looking at the pictures I was like that looks like it's the same street that we're currently living at and then

James Doran (27:15.119)

the next picture I was like my god that's my house so I had to send her message I just said like I don't know if this is a coincidence but like you know you took pictures of my house like whereabouts in North London you live and it turned out that she lived in the house just next to mine working as a man like a nanny on in the house nanny and then after that like

It was purely luck and chance that she had to live adjacent to you.

But you know like you might not be so aware of it because you have been friends since university or you've been friends since childhood Is that like you know especially these days or like living in a big city like London? You know it does take some effort Yeah, you need to work on the one -to -one relationships as well. In university there's a group of you in the same situation you all go in not really knowing anyone, okay you might not know two people from Facebook beforehand, but you're there just

or going in open for social activities. Whether it's when you go to work or by yourself or in a couple, it's very much you meet one person, you spend that time with that person, and that becomes your friend, and then you do the next person, the next person, and it's very much case by case basis. But it makes those relationships much better because it's a collective struggle.

Overall, looking back at my 12 years, I think that besides having seen great places, what I really take away from them is the people I met and it's been people that I didn't necessarily think I was going to connect with. But they shared a moment with me or we have shared experiences together and for that reasons, I feel that we're forever connected. Completely. You always have those things to remember.

James Doran (29:26.959)

minutes about. It's just been wonderful. And then I guess whilst we're still in England for a little bit, what was your favourite English saying or like?

Englishism that you experienced? I don't know. I kind of like I don't necessarily know if I have a favorite saying but I like I like words that I kind of picked up that I wouldn't necessarily have you know known before because Rob my partner he doesn't like me saying this because you don't say this in Ireland but like the word pudding it's like you know the kids I used to mind like the family would be like you know all they can have you know they can have some fruit for pudding and the first time I heard it

I was just like what do you mean pudding is like a pudding? It's like why are they having fruit and pudding? Well, you know finding out that what they mean is actually you can make it have fruit for dessert Yeah, I would always say pudding growing up. It's always yeah, you'd have your pudding It can be anything from cheesecake ice cream can be fruit And then I think well for being Swedish as well where we don't necessarily like I heard it from other people as well, but you know like Going into like a shop in London, for example, you know, they can greet you by saying hello love and

Yeah, it's a good point. We do have a lot of openings.

But I think even I think it's even like I mean, it's not that us Swedish people we don't want to say it But it's just we kind of tone it down a bit. So like if we see like, you know, someone is like, you know, I got a show show off You know, like my new dress or something you've got like, that's nice. Whereas if if I say that's so beautiful It just makes it sound like it's so much grander than just nice and and for me I think it's a really nice way of actually being able to say much more to people that I care about

James Doran (31:34.607)

it's given me like a more window to kind of do so rather than like I don't know how I would have put like the same kind of sayings in Swedish because it wouldn't have sounded as nice. I guess also in England, you're a stranger, you're probably still in Manchester a lot but strangers get called love and pet and darling and whatever you don't have to even know who they are that would be thrown around it is quite interesting and then expanding on that then in Italy or in...

Spain obviously Ireland might be quite similar but it seems to be obviously substantially different. How was it being there in terms of obviously the language it was quite difficult but yeah the language was difficult because I think it's...

It's not necessarily always about like just, you know, being able to communicate in that language. It's also about like learning how they use it. So, you know, a Spanish person might not necessarily always be angry just because it sounds like they are. And same in Italian, you know, like they're very vocal and you know, they use their fingers and hands a lot to express themselves. But that's just how they do it. I think I was in Italy, I was, you know, a very short time, you know, only a couple of months.

So I didn't really put my Italian to like everyday practice In Barcelona, I felt that like I was really trying for the first couple of months But it was hard and maybe even harder because I was living in a part of Spain Where they're really trying to stick to the fact that they know Catalan as well, which is very different to Spanish So if I were going to a shop and I was trying my best at saying, you know, like can I have a bag? You know in Spanish they will reply back to me in Catalan

That doesn't mean Sweden. I asked the question in Swedish but I replied in English because I can't think of the words. Yeah, so I think, I don't know, for me it was...

James Doran (33:25.485)

Yeah, I can't say that like after a year and a half living in Barcelona that I know I'm any better at Spanish than when I first arrived. If anything, I think it kind of demoted me a bit to learn Spanish because first of all, you know, like the locals and I don't know if this is just because I was living in Barcelona and in an area of Barcelona where everyone is quite anti -tourists. But yeah, the overall feeling was a bit like you're not wanted here or at least

It's a good point, because I think...

I've got some friends who live in Sweden for so long and they don't speak Swedish. They only speak English. I think it's, you know, Swedish people are like, they're quite happy to speak English as well. So, you know, like the only reason I, you know, I think I really tried to push myself to learn Spanish, like speak more Spanish was like whenever you had anything to do with Spanish authorities, like a lot of them knew how to speak English, but they just wouldn't. So, you know, like if you were trying to understand what they...

saying and trying to make yourself understood you really had to try your very best Spanish but I think in Sweden I think you know like you can easily just get anything sorted completely or I used the translator app a lot on my phone for any emails or letters I get through from scattersburg it does some work hopefully it's not a bill and then Ireland to me I've been to Ireland but how did you feel the differences were maybe to London and to Manchester?

Well I think first of all like you said I think Manchester...

James Doran (35:25.741)

you know, even compare it to London. I think like London is like no other city. You can't really compare it. And when people say to me, I've been to England, I was like, where did you go? London. I was like, you haven't really been to England. You know, like you've seen, you know, a glimpse of it and you know, but you haven't really got an actual feel for it. So, I mean, I think what I really liked about Ireland, and I still do, is the people. They're extremely welcoming and just very open to kind of like welcome new people. So,

Yeah, but then it's like even with with the accent and and the language is like it's English but speaking of accents like there's so many accents on such little area and remember speaking from people to cork like to me when I Started to like speak with two people from cork free work I was just like the might as well have been like someone speaking African to me because I couldn't understand a word or like you know having a conversation with someone from Scotland again, it's like

extremely difficult before you kind of like got your ear used to it. So I think, fortunately for me, like, you know, my boyfriend and his family are like closer to Dublin, so they're quite easy to understand. But, you know, there were still like sayings and again, you know, like just how they use English, like they can sound quite harsh, you know, it's a lot of kind of thick and, you know, and for me it's a bit like, you know, I've always grown up knowing that, you know, like, that's a swear word, but it's not to them. It's just like, that's...

it's just how they speak. The pace I think I find is the difficult bit. Same with like Spanish or Italian, it's they speak so quickly. To me Irish is spoken very quickly compared to England.

Which is why it can be difficult to understand because you think they're saying some words, but it's actually a sentence. And then, can we go? What was that? And then, yeah. Excuse me. Yeah. Yeah, so I don't know. It's, and then again, I can't compare it. Can't like compare my experience in Ireland to London. But I don't know. I think you can feel that like they're a smaller population. They're quite knitted together. It's like, you know somebody and that person would have known of somebody and it's, and then if you're like,

James Doran (37:38.735)

in the middle of an Irish family as well you know like you definitely get a feel for that that it's not like it's not a very big country. It's beautiful though the coast like the west is just amazing to go and travel.

James Doran (37:58.317)

So hello and welcome to section three of the podcast which is a recap of your time in the many places you've lived. So I guess the first question I have is what kind of advice would you give to someone living in each of the locations you've been to? Well I think it goes for wherever you live in the world.

If you're an expat or like having just moved to a new country, I think it's all about like putting yourself out there. Keep... have an open mind and try not to compare. I know it's quite like easy to, you know, always go back to like, this is what it's like in my home country, but you know, trying to embrace the new country for what it is and yeah, try to keep an open mind about things because accommodation is going to be different, like workplace is going to be different.

the way of socializing is gonna be different. And then just putting yourself out there, like, yeah, I think I'm very much of like, you know, make things happen for yourself. Like, don't expect to kind of sit at home and, you know, like, suddenly have a new group of friends. And I think that this is something that, you know, like, moving to England first time around when I was only 19, you know, I still felt quite shy, you know, like, and I've gone on a journey on not just like having seen new places,

and met new people but also like on a self journey, you know, like I've become a lot more outgoing and I don't know if it is because of my experience living abroad but I also like to think so because I had to really challenge myself and really had to make things happen for me and I'm still very much like that now that like, you know, I can sit here and have like a really boring Sunday or I can jump in the car and I can go somewhere and then at least I made something of that day. So I think, you know,

For anyone who lives in any country, just put the effort in. Sometimes, especially when making new friends, it is hard. And especially when you made friends and then friends move on. I think that's the hardest part about living in another country. But yeah, try new things. I encourage meeting people through Meetup. I think Meetup was great for me because it's in all the bigger European cities at least. You can find so many different...

James Doran (40:16.079)

groups like whether that's walking group or hiking groups or football groups like when I moved back to London my second time around I joined a football group and I played with a group of guys in Regions Park and we played every Sunday and Thursday and I mean some of them people they turned out to be great friends and we're still friends today and it was just like what kept me going some weeks knowing that like every Saturday I get to play football and it was you know it was hard at first but then you meet so many people they all come from like the same

same kind of situation they're just looking to engage and you know connect with other people so you know I'm so glad I did push myself to go. I think I've done this kind of thing with me too, I joined Willem Gothenburg for hiking and there's so many different activities we want to do it's amazing and on the top of the sport I play volleyball and yeah so I joined a local team here and

There's a really good beach volleyball place in Gothenburg. It's just indoor, so in the winter it's perfect. And like you said, you see the same faces, you start to have conversations with people, which is the way in which to grow. Yeah, and I think even like, even if you're not necessarily always hanging out with these people outside the activity itself, you know, like it's about like also creating a life for yourself where like, you know, whether that's playing volleyball or football, it's like, okay, so that's my first day night.

and feeling that you're part of that community even if it's just for like an hour and a half or an hour, you know, like and that might be the only like social engagement you need.

from that week. So, you know, but then you can join different groups and you know, like you can have and I think that's the beauty of like living in a place like London or you know, like any bigger cities is that like you don't have to just be the one person like and you know restrict yourself to just being the one activity like you can actually like branch out and like, you know, you can be the yoga person on Sunday and have, you know, that community and doing something else.

James Doran (42:23.599)

on a Saturday night. That's amazing and I guess the only kind of recap point would be naive move back home or back to Sweden, maybe not home but back to the country you're from. Looking back at your whole situation, would you have done something differently? Would you have changed it all or has each kind of step just morphed you into the person you are today and without it it'd be difficult. It's quite a difficult question to answer but.

Is there something which you thought, I wish I knew that earlier? No, I don't think so because I think that like if I had been super prepared like for every situation I've been in I wouldn't have learned anything from it and I think that's what it really is like moving back now to Sweden after 12 years I just like the one thing that actually scared me the most was like moving back to Sweden I can I feel like I can move to any country it doesn't face me but moving back to Sweden

and like having to adapt and I don't know like act Swedish and act the way that people are expecting me to act like because I was you know born here I grew up here I should know what the system is like that actually scared me more than like moving to any other country you couldn't hide behind not being from there and I think that's kind of like looking back I mean like you know in terms of like having having like finding

work or like finding accommodations I'm sure there's things that I could have done differently like you know maybe it would have been a smoother process if I had contacted that person directly or something like that but like looking back I think in general you know I have no regrets I would do it all over again I still don't think that I'm at the place in my life where I'm gonna be forever I have very itchy feet but yeah you know no I I don't think I would have done anything differently if anything I think I would have maybe push myself even more to you know go off

those friendships or go after those jobs that I wanted. Yeah. And you just mentioned briefly but part of this next bit was the future. So you said you have itchy feet and always want to keep moving. Is there somewhere you want to live still anywhere in the world? Well I was back in London last week to see friends and just because I haven't been back since the pandemic and I mean I would still love to move back to England one day just because it's my favorite, favorite destination. But I don't know.

James Doran (44:48.815)

I don't know, in general, for every place I've lived, it really feels like coming home in a way whenever I do go back. I really consider myself having many homes. So, even if I could go back to Barcelona for a couple of months, a year, just to kind of still that desire I have. Or now when we moved away from Ireland, I'm going back to Ireland next week to see family and friends, we're going to a wedding. But I think for me, I just need to have plans.

to go places but yeah one day I'd love to move back to England. You care about you but your partner's now living abroad from where he's from. Yeah.

How's he finding Stockholm? Is he sweet Swedish? So yeah, so he lives in Gothenburg and he... Yeah, so I mean that has been quite challenging because obviously we moved back to Smergan because we needed to kind of like have a first place to stay and then you know he's been looking to get jobs but the first job he got was in Gothenburg and he's quite happy in his workplace so he actually lives in Gothenburg Monday to Friday which is challenging.

and I think obviously it's quite it's quite disinteresting to hear now because you know he has lived abroad a good bit himself he lived in Barcelona he also lived in London you know and he's Irish he also lived in France for a while but I think for him it's been the hardest to maybe move to Sweden because well this time around it's a lot more like we have a child as well so you can't just like you know pick up your bags and like you know look I'm moving on to the next thing so maybe maybe it's more so

But like no he's you know, he's loving the kind of the Swedish outdoorsy, you know, he loves his fishing So he's got like about three fishing rods and he picks up his fishing rod whenever he's back here and yeah I think I think he's liking it so far and what we do really like as well is you know Obviously the all advantages of moving to a Scandinavian country which is like the practicalities of having a child and not having to think so much about that

James Doran (46:59.887)

you hear outside of Sweden is the child care benefits are just so much better than anywhere else which it just takes a lot of the pressure off the parents. It does but then I don't know I can say for the both of us that we really do miss the pub. There's a few, I've noticed a few English pubs in Gothenburg. Yeah we've been to like I think he has a local pub where he lives but you know whenever we've been into Gothenburg together we I don't know we've

I've not been there yet, I always think it's a bit too fake. The flying barracks is my favourite one.

really a half Irish child and I was like what are they doing in the pub and he says the grown -ups have like a drink but he thinks it's also like a place of treats because whenever he's been to the pub like he gets you know chocolate crisps or something. A good point to bring up about the hybrids and I've noticed there's a lot of international communities here in Dublin especially which you can do the things you miss at home which is one of the things that I would recommend if anyone moved abroad is...

look for something familiar as well. So yeah, you go explore but make sure you know where if you are missing home you can go find it. For instance a pub with you and your partner is a nice grounding place to go and be and be comfortable and relaxed and not worry about anything. It's that kind of thing.

having that kind of safety net. Yeah, exactly. I think it's like I think I touched on that previously by just creating, you know, your own bubble and you know, whatever you're comfortable with. So it's like, I think once once you have like that kind of ground stability, it's easier to be this outgoing person who's like, you know, pushing yourself to do other things as well. So, I mean, for me, it was always like going to IKEA. I mean, it's not like I'm always going to IKEA now, but like, you know, the sense of

James Doran (49:18.735)

of like, whenever I go to IKEA, I'm going to be able to pronounce the names of these furniture, or like, I'm going to be able to pick up some, yeah, pick up some Swedish chocolate or something. But on the IKEA thing, it's like, in Italy, very, very disappointing because they don't do like a classical Swedish menu. They serve, you know, an espresso rather than like the filtered coffee. And like the most, most of the dishes are actually very Italian glorified. Like, you know, it's not just, you know, meat.

and mashed it's like you know meatballs with like pasta and a tomato ragu or something like that I had that in Sweden with linguine this is not very Swedish and same goes for England you know like the way they have meatballs with chips I don't think I've ever had meatballs with chips before no no that's not the way to eat Swedish meatballs in Ikea it's a great way of ending a shoot on

that bombshell of never have Swedish meatballs with chips or pasta. Only mash. Yeah, only mash. Right, so thank you very much for your time Rebecca. It's been really interesting listening to you talk about all the various locations you've lived and getting your insight on the...

each location, even in the same country, how much they differ. So thank you. I don't know if you have any like recap or anything you've enjoyed about this experience or anything else you'd like to share. You can't say no, it's perfectly fine. I think for anyone who's thinking about moving abroad, just do it. I don't think you'll have any regrets. Like I think if anything, you know, it's going to be challenging, yes, you're going to have to like really go out of your comfort zone, but it's going to be rewarding in so many ways. And...

In a way I'm like, I don't know, I've had...