E058 - Building Connections and Meeting People While Traveling

James Doran (00:06.19)

So hello and welcome to the Expat Pod. My name is James, your host. Today I'm joined by Katie. Katie, we met through a podcast guesting service to help me find guests and help you find podcasts. If you'd like to give a quick introduction of where you're from, what you do and where you've lived. So my name's Katie Andrews. I'm a stress and time management coach. I've been traveling the world since July, 2020.

and I sold everything that I've owned back in the UK to essentially travel the world. I did it after COVID and yeah, just wanted to shift my life. In terms of where I've been, there's so many James, like it's unreal how many places I've been to these last two years, but to kind of give you a highlight, I flew to New Orleans. I did a little bit around South America, California, that kind of route, Menefee.

And then we headed to Mexico, Colombia, and Costa Rica. And then we sort of headed over to Asia. So we've done Thailand, Vietnam, you know, all of those places. And now we're in Sri Lanka. So we've done quite a few places. And for me to sit here and name them all, I'd probably take up your entire podcast. But yeah, in summary, America, South America, and then over to Asia. we've...

predominantly spent most of our time in Asia over the last two years.

James Doran (01:44.494)

So welcome to section one of the podcast and what getting there. Okay, so this is where I kind of understand the why to people's kind of start to the journey, but also the how up until you kind of leave the country. So let's start with your why. Why did you want to spend your life living abroad or travel? What was your kind of inspiration of doing so? So I've always had the travel bug. I've always enjoyed doing it since I started going on, you know, sort of holidays when I was younger. So I've always had that taste for it.

But in terms of what really kicked me up the backside to do it was when COVID restrictions started lifting because I spent most of the time indoors. The only place I could go to was the supermarket. And I almost felt trapped, if you will, and really had to consider my mental health and had a lot of time to reflect on what do I want for the next chapter in my life when things start to become back to normal.

and I realized that I wanted to go traveling. It was a good opportunity now. I wasn't happy in my job anymore. I kept job hopping for toxic management and toxic situations. I suppose you could almost argue that I'd hit a of a rock bottom, across roads, if you will. After long conversations with my husband, I was just like, should we just do this? What have we got to lose?

We'd already talked about travel in the past and we were making a plan and we said, let's go away in five years and let's save towards it and let's do that. But then after conversations, we were like, yeah, but if we wait five years, we're probably going to find another excuse. So say we've not got enough money or just basically talk ourselves out of it because that's what the brain does, right? So we're like, you know what? Let's just do it. Let's just sell up. We don't want to be here anymore. Let's go on an adventure.

And you know, it was tough letting go of the things that you love, saying goodbye to the things that you love, but at the end of the day, you don't know until you try and you know, our happiness is paramount. So we just wanted to give it a go. And it was scary, you know, taking risks is scary in life, but it was also exhilarating at the same time. And I just don't regret what I've done basically. I'm glad that I took the lead.

James Doran (04:02.778)

And where did you find out about the house sitting? What led you into that realm of doing it? Was that just for research? Did you see something online? Because during COVID there's a lot more free time, I suppose, to research. Yeah, so I was already semi -aware of house sitting, but I'd never actually done it. I'd watched videos of people doing it, know, and stuff like that. So I had an awareness of it. And because I knew that we were selling the house and

taking what little money we had while we waited for the house sale to come through and we were going to America which can be one of the most expensive places to travel to. We wanted to kind of minimise our costs if you will. So I looked into it a little bit deeper and then I came across Trusted House Sitters. So I signed up with them and took the yearly premium with them and we used it pretty much around America with a little bit of couch surfing as well. We did a little bit that as well but it saved us some

money like literal thousands of pounds like one house it paid for itself. The first place we went to was New Orleans. We were in a nice little house there right in the heart of things. I don't even know how much that would cost but I would hazard a guess and say a couple of thousand for a good month. So it saved us a lot of money. do you get paid to oust it or do you use it cost neutral for you because it's the benefit for both people? No, don't get paid. It's just a mutual benefit.

You know, usually each house it'll stipulate different terms as to what they want doing, but ultimately you get to stay in the house or if they've got an annex, an annex. And sometimes you might be looking after pens, you know, if they've got animals that need looking after them. know, they'll basically stipulate what they want and then you have a conversation and see if you, you know, agree and see if you connect as well because ultimately they're letting a stranger into their home. So it's important that

they trust you and they've got a bit of a connection there. Yeah, I think a lady I spoke to before about it, her thing was milking a goat was one of first things she had to do in one of her house sits. I've never heard now, but you know, never seen of it. Why America? Why was that your first destination? What drew you to America in general? It wasn't actually going to be America to start with. It was meant to be Canada.

James Doran (06:22.667)

And me and my husband were waiting for visas and this was after the COVID restrictions lifting. And I don't know if Canada had a backlog or something, but it took forever for the visas to come through. So much so that we were heading on to Asia by the time Canada sent the visa, it took them so long, like literal, literal months. So because it didn't come through in time and because we were ready to go and we'd sold everything, we were like, well, we need to go somewhere.

So let's edge to that side of the world because that's closer to Canada, But then obviously with the visa still not coming through, we couldn't see our friends in Canada. So we decided to see friends in South America. My husband's got friends in California. So we spent a bit of time around New Orleans, California, around those areas, Las Vegas and that kind of thing. So that's the reason we went there. It wouldn't have been the first on my list just purely because, you know.

funds and money, you know, it can cost quite a lot of money to go there, you know. Did you apply for a working travel visa, the two year visa to Canada being part of Commonwealth or was it a different visa you were looking to get? No, for Canada it was just a travel visa. So we was going to just go there on travel and, you know, basically see friends and stay there. so that was just a normal travel visa. It just seemed to take forever. So all I can do is go back to COVID.

Really? Yeah. And for the US, was it an Esther you had then? Yes. The US one came through much, much, much quicker. So they must. I think it's same day sometimes now. It's all online because I got one last year to go to the US. But how long can you be there for? Was it 30 days or was it longer? I think it was 30 days, James. I mean, this was like nearly two years ago now. So my brain doesn't serve me that well. But I think it was around 30 days. Yeah. We were there then within that period. And then we left and started travelling around other areas as well.

We was meant to see France and Costa Rica as well, but that didn't go to plan either. So we had a few mishaps on the very early stages of that trip. Nothing went to plan, but I don't have any regrets about doing it. It's one of them, isn't it? You can't regret anything. Just go with the flow. to Asia or heading across to Asia with the Pacific, what was your first port of call Thailand, you said?

James Doran (08:45.55)

The first portico that we went to was, I'm just trying to think back now because it's going back a while, I think we headed into Malaysia first and foremost, KL, Kuala Lumpur. So that was the second time for me. And the first time I went to Kuala Lumpur was a good 15 years ago. So it was nice to see how things had changed, you know. Aside from like the twin towers, there's not much else I remember 15 years ago, know, he's changed.

completely any welding. But it's nice to go back and visit these places that you've seen how they've changed. How did you plan? So obviously you're living in one place, one house, sitting in one place. How far in advance are you planning these house sits? Obviously the people who own the homes kind of want to have confidence that someone's going to be able to come to it when they go away. how long is your calendar booked up for going forward?

To be honest, not actually that far, James. I mean, when I first started this, I used to really like plan to a T. And whilst planning is good, it can also be very tiring. And also, you can plan as much as you want and things still go wrong, is what I found. So whilst I did plan all of America, and I did that probably weeks or months in advance so we knew what was going on, now I try and be a bit more...

relaxed about it all. think travel's been good for me terms of stressing and over planning and all of that. And just to give you an example, we're currently in Sri Lanka until the 4th of June and then we get back to Indonesia for a bit. But that was a last minute thing. Like we hadn't planned for Sri Lanka. It's just our visa was like coming to a close where we were, because we were in Vietnam, we were in the trunks over Christmas and stuff. And we were like...

where should we go next? I don't know. Like what about Sri Lanka? It just randomly came up in conversation. And then we had a look to see if there was any sort of workaways available or homestays and one was there for Sri Lanka and the timing just sort of aligned, if you will, but that was last minute. That was under a month. We haven't got any homestays for our next visit purely because we're going back to Indonesia. We're going to the Gili...

James Doran (11:06.418)

Isles which is part of Lombok. We've not been there yet because we went to Bali last time and we did sort of Jakarta but we sort of didn't do Lombok so we're going back there. And we haven't got a homestay for there. It's a tiny little island and we've just not managed to find one so we will have to get accommodation. But there's ways that you can be savvy around that. know, reduce costs, know, my husband's a chef, we can reduce our food costs.

So yeah, it's one of them, like you can't always get a homestay in every place, but you know, it's not without trying, if you will. I'll always look, I'll always see if there's anything there. But again, the Gilly Isles was a last minute decision because my husband is a paddy dive master and he's going on to be a paddy instructor and he's chosen the Gilly Isles as the place that he wants to do it.

But you he was doing a lot of thinking and soul searched about where he wanted to do it. So again, it was a last minute decision. I think with looking for home stays, you know, it's one of them, you can plan as much as you want, but there's always going to be something that comes up, you know, that's why I learned along the way. And in terms of before you left, did you have both have remote working jobs that which you could, you know, which could support your, your, guess, continuous travel?

So my husband didn't because he's been a head chef for 25 years. So he can cook for people online unless it's like ASMR or something. So he had to give that job up. But he was ready to, you know, he loves cooking, but you know, in the hospitality industry, if you've ever been in that, it's stressful, it's long hours. The pay doesn't always reflect the work they do. It's a stressful environment. you know, thinking about the next chapter of our lives,

He's about breaking work. He wanted something that was more relaxing that could ease him into retirement a lot more. And he's only just realised over this last sort of six to eight months that he wants to do diving. He likes diving and he wants to make that his profession. So he's completely shifted his profession around, which, you know, once he does get an instructor job, he can pretty much work anywhere in the world and that can keep us going in terms of our travel. So, yeah, his wasn't Ramo.

James Doran (13:26.594)

And in terms of mine, mine was Vermont, but a lot of companies that are UK based want you in the UK. They don't always want you traveling abroad. You know, they kind of want to keep tabs on you. And that can be really hard when you're traveling because things go wrong. You can lose internet. You know, you can have a flight delayed. Like things can go wrong. That means you can't be a nine to five PAYE job sat behind the desk. So.

Yeah, I couldn't take that with me either. So, you know, we were living on our house, sale money basically, and any savings they'll be managed to take. So, but I'm an online coach now anyway, I've got my own business. So I run that. And then eventually my husband's gonna be an instructor. So we'll both have jobs that complement what we now do. The lifestyle. The lifestyle, yeah, exactly. And working for yourself. If I don't log on, it's me that's losing out. So.

it works better for me to work for myself. Yeah, you are in bottom line I suppose, or your book stops with you. Exactly, exactly. Is there anything else you needed to kind of do before you started your journey moving abroad then once you kind of got some work sorted and kind of found your first few months of travelling and told your house? Say goodbye to family, although my family's a bit of a weird one, we don't all see eye to eye. So the ones that I did do

did see eye to eye with it. I obviously said goodbye and made some lasting memories with, but yeah, families are a complicated one sometimes, you know? Yeah, you can't choose them, can you? You can't choose them, it's one of them and I've had to sort of break friendships up and stuff like that, ultimately I've done this for me. There's been times in the past where I've not really put myself first. I've always been a people pleaser and...

focus mainly on people, whereas I've been really forced in this stage of my life to consider myself a little bit more and about what I want and travel for me has been amazing for that, know, for really building my resilience and focusing on myself. And like I said to you, not planning as much, going with the flow a lot more, just understand that things will sometimes go wrong, but you can find a solution, you know? Completely, yeah, completely.

James Doran (15:49.838)

Well, I guess if that's all you needed to do before you left, then we can go into the next section about being there. So about your experiences from when you arrived. Yeah, that's it. Everything was done. I was ticking it all off as I went along.

James Doran (16:08.59)

Welcome back to the podcast, Welcome to Section 2 about being there. KG, is essentially, for you, it's a lot of things because you've been to a lot of places. Let's start with the first impressions. When you first left the UK, you left just post -COVID, so we're still in the aftermath of what happened. I guess the economy was recovering. wasn't necessarily the nicest place to be. We left around some time actually.

I left the 2022 and you entered the US first. what was that like? How did that, I guess, differ from your initial impression of what it was going to be like to what it up being like? In terms of expense, because I think that's important to touch on because I've mentioned it a lot, I knew it was going to be expensive. I just didn't realise how much. So like when you go for meals and

can easily drop like minimum $50 a person or something on some meals. You're like, wow, back in the UK, you'd be comparing to the UK and going, well back in the UK, I can get this much for that much, you know, so kind of put a lot of like anxiety, if you will, in me, when I'd already just started. And I think it did make me question like, is everywhere else going to be expensive these days? You know, it kind of got that down creeping in my mind.

But aside from that, because I flew into New Orleans first, because I just randomly chose it, I was like, well, I like jazz, you know, and I'll pick there. That place - It wasn't Mardi Gras, was it? No, it wasn't. So it was quieter. I believe that was quite chaotic. But yeah, it wasn't Mardi Gras. that was a nice place. It was nice architecture, which I admire. The buildings were huge. The people were friendly. The food was pretty good.

And obviously you've got the music all the time there and it was just such a vibe. And like, you know, hearing about the voodoo and like the ghosts there and it's weird because when I set foot there, it almost felt like I'd been there before and I've never been there before. Certainly not in the Shimon farm that I'm in, but it felt strangely familiar. It almost felt like being home. It's weird. It's such a weird feeling. But yeah, it was just such a vibe and

James Doran (18:32.724)

If I was to go back to America again, I would go back there. mean, America is a huge place. I've not even covered a fraction of it really. But yeah, it was definitely a vibe there. California was nice, where we went to as well. It's just everything's so spread out. Like, you can't really walk anywhere because everywhere's like... Like California, like you'd need a car or you need something transportation -wise.

But I did admire the sunsets there. I California sunsets are some of the nicest ones I've ever seen. know, just nice sort of sinking a beer and just watching the sun go down. know, husband doing a bit of fishing. Like, just this life really. Catching, know, zools. Yeah, yeah. Just, you know, chilling out and enjoying the sunsets. yeah, Merika was an eye -opener for me, should we say, in a lot of ways.

Yeah. Do want me to go into any other places I've been to? No, no. In terms of America, what was it like in terms of the, you mentioned the cost of it, which I can agree with it. It can be quite extortionately expensive. The difference between the UK versus America for the same thing seems quite high. It is beautiful. It's massive. It's the whole size of New York state is bigger than the UK or bigger than England or one or the other, which is quite hard to...

have them because that's one state. It's quite important to put that into perspective. Basically the US is Europe in equivalent landmass kind of thing where you've got all the different cultures, the different cuisines, all the different music and everything else that you mentioned about being in New Orleans, which sounds incredible. Did you have some jambalaya when you were there as well? Did, yes. I do like the jambalaya. My husband likes it more though.

I think my favourite dish was in Mexico, but we'll go on to Mexico in a bit if you want. I liked the mole from there. I liked the chocolate mole sauce that you get. I mean, I'm a chocolate lover anyway, but that's one of my favourite dishes, mole. So you went to the States and so in terms of obviously the language barrier wasn't there because this obviously English, albeit American English is different to British English, you could get by. You could understand what they were saying.

James Doran (20:59.544)

You might have said, bottle of to you quite a lot because it's a lot of British people when you go over. But how did you find communicating? Was that an issue or was that pretty fine because of level of both English -speaking countries? Yeah, there was no issue really in America. There might be slight different accents. People might struggle to be with my accent, but ultimately could get by without an issue. think slipping into Asia and stuff was more difficult for me to understand.

them to understand me, going into other part of the world. But America wasn't too bad to be fair. No real issues. Going into your next journey, supposed to to Mexico, you said, or you were supposed to stay in Costa Rica? Yeah, so we did a bit of everything. But we sort of went from California and did Costa Rica, Mexico, Ecuador, around there. We was going to do Panama, but we decided to kind of move on at that point because

even Ecuador was expensive. I thought Ecuador was going to be cheap, but that has been expensive as well because they take the US dollar. So that's kind of crippled them in Ecuador. So that was an eye opener. Even Costa Rica was expensive because there's a lot of US ex -pounds that go over there and that struck prices up. we kind of wanted to get out of there and go, let's go somewhere cheaper for a bit now. yeah.

years though, we just kind of did a bit of a rune and then go...

James Doran (22:34.526)

And when you were there, you doing house sitting as well or was it anything else you were doing instead or was it predominantly house sitting? So Ecuador, we did house sitting luckily because we needed to because you could go to the shop for a couple of items for not even a week. You'd go for a couple of days and the food goes off a lot quicker in hot countries so you just buy as you go. And you could easily drop one to two hundred US dollars in Ecuador on

virtually nothing and you're like, wow. I've not even got much for a week's food here, you know what I mean? But yeah, luckily the house sitting really helps to make your money go further than what it usually would. We were there, I think it was about three and a bit weeks in Ecuador and then we moved on. And then we did a little bit of not house sitting in Mexico, it more like couch surfing.

But the rest was Airbnbs or hotels, you know? Airbnbs can do quite good long -term deals, can't you? I suppose the Airbnbs where it's not too expensive, basically like renting somewhere for a month. Or if you book a month, they tend to give you a discount. Yeah, definitely. And then, so you went to Asia. So what was that like as a first impression? Obviously, being in South America, from North America might have been, or Central America perhaps, was the Spanish interesting to get behind?

Can you speak Spanish or can you speak any Spanish or? Zero. Zero Spanish. It's one of them. Like I did languages as a child, but I absorbed it a lot better in school than what I do now. I just can't seem to absorb languages despite my best efforts. My husband's probably gonna have to learn Spanish when he becomes a PADI instructor because even though English is widely spoken, Spanish seems to be the next one down in a lot of these countries, you know?

But yeah, I've tried, but then if I try to speak a few words, I get the pronunciation wrong. So people don't understand what I'm saying anyway. So yeah, he's not without a bit of trying, but yeah, in the end. But the fact is you're trying, which is the main thing. Yeah, but in the end, it's like, do you know what, I'll just get translate out, but then translate sometimes lets me down as well and pulls the wrong words in and stuff, you know? That's happened before. And then people have taken offense.

James Doran (24:58.872)

with a bad word or something, you know? Yeah, exactly. also, I've been speaking to lot of people on this podcast who've lived in different Spanish -speaking countries. The level of Spanish or the words used in each country differs massively. So I've got a friend who's from Peru and he's like, yeah, well, people from Chile use different Spanish words than me, so I don't understand what they're saying all the time and stuff like that, which is quite interesting to understand. I guess it's quite like, you know, the US and South Africa or...

Australia, there's a few different nuances in language which you wouldn't understand perhaps or colloquialisms. So then you go to Asia. What was that like for special in terms of people might think of it as all this incredible food, you know, beaches, untouched land, lots of rainforests. What was your impression of For example, Asia, we've been very humid.

Yeah, so, you know, like I say, I've done travelling in the past, but this was a good 15 years ago. So I've done Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia and all of that in the past pretty much. I've not covered it all, but I've covered that sort of main area, if you will. And it was nice to go back, you know, and see how things have changed and it has changed. you know, it has gone more expensive because the inflation has changed the world over, hasn't it?

But in comparison, it's not as expensive as like the States is, but it is more expensive than what I anticipate it would be. It has gone up a bit. know, food shop and stuff like that has gone up a bit. You know, speaking to ex -parents even in Sri Lanka, they say that food costs and stuff have doubled. You know, so things have changed. Food, always thought the food was amazing anyway.

When I first travelled 15 years ago, I used to be quite fussy. I used to be quite a fussy eater and travelling the world brought me out of my shell in that regard. It pushed me to try new things, you know? Because I was like, I'm travelling, I'm on holiday, I'm away, I want to try this new thing that I would never know I would try, you know? And it does push you out, you come off your zone a little bit, so...

James Doran (27:12.438)

It was nice to try things that I'd never tried before, but the food has always been good. They've always got really good flavors. For example, when you go to Malaysia, they've got influences of like Thailand and Vietnam, and you get to have all these infusions of different flavors. It's just really, really nice to try. My husband being a chef as well, it excites him because

He's going to try things done in a really authentic way, even though he might try and create it. He can't do better than in the country itself, is my point of view. So he's going to try these things and see exactly how it should be done. it's just an eye opener really. you know, the amount of food that you can get for the price, because you can still get cheap food. You've just got to look a bit harder, should we say, than what you could in the pouch, you know. You can still get a meal for maybe one to two pound.

But be aware that there will still be people that want to slap on bit of extra tourist tags, you know, and charge you a little more for the same thing. was going to say your husband must be loving the adventure of from a taste buds perspective. I'm sure you as well, but it's his job. He's so used to having to have that kind of honed palate where you have to know the various flavours, spices between different things. It must be quite an opportunity for him to.

to explore that, especially making a cookbook from his travels of all the amazing foods he's tried or dishes he's seen from each country. This is it. And if he ever does have to go back into chef work, he's got all of this in his memory bank of how things should be and stuff like that. So it's a journey for him as well. So yeah. And also, we do get to try great food if he's trying out in the house as well and stuff and cooking for you.

Yeah, yeah, but my husband says my palate is terrible because my palate, I tend to pick up on strong flavors more. So like, you your mustards and your peppers and stuff like your chilies. And then my palate, I sort of lose all the more mild flavors, whereas he can pick everything up. It's amazing. wish I'd...

James Doran (29:25.806)

It's like a super taster, is it? Yeah, exactly. Whereas I like the taste of mustard in that. he's like, what about the 10 other things that I can taste? You the horseradish or the cilantro or what? Yeah, yeah, exactly. And now you're in Sri Lanka. So I think it's close to just off coast of India. How's that been for you in terms of obviously you've been to Asia, in Eastern Asia, now you've moved to Western Asia? Is it what you expected to be as well? it?

Because obviously there's a lot of stuff reported, obviously there was a lot of government issues and there was a coup or something a few years ago which obviously might change your view on Sri Lanka but being there, how has it actually affected you at all or hasn't it? It hasn't affected me. will hands up say that the Sri Lankan people are some of the nicest, most humble people I've ever met in anywhere in the world like they are.

so incredibly happy, so helpful. Like don't get me wrong, you've still got pockets of people that are out for their own agenda and stuff like that, you get that everywhere in the world, but ultimately they are always happy, you know, and it's probably their religion and their way of life that plays a part in that, but they are just so welcoming, so happy, so happy with the...

so little that they've got. They'll walk along the streets and they'll give you a big smile. And I'll give you one example. In the village that I'm in now, and I've been here for almost two months now, just a quiet little village called Tala Willow in Sri Lanka, there's a sane little girl who goes to school, great English, she's under five, and she doesn't know me from Adam, but she grabs my little pinky finger and when I walk to the shop, she walks with me to the shop, talking English to me.

she's such a happy little child but she's just in comparison to maybe some of the children that I see in the West that are maybe a bit more conscious, a bit more guarded, maybe not as happy for whatever reason. She's just a happy child carefree and she hasn't got much. She's just so happy, know, just so contented. know, obviously there's a correlation between the less you have the happier you are. Yeah, it's true. When I got rid of everything that I had, you know,

James Doran (31:43.0)

handbags that I'd not used in years, shoes I'd not used in years, I was a happier, freer person. Now I've got very little, I'm the happiest I've ever been. So there's definitely something to be said for that. But yes, Sri Lankan exceeded my expectations. The only thing I will say is if you come into Sri Lankan, maybe try and book something with air conditioning because they have got a real problem with flies. Like they have got...

flies that I've seen anywhere else in the world and I'm taught swarms. I'm taught like there's a reason people eat at dusk and dawn here and when we first got here people were like eat at dusk, eat at dawn and I was like yeah but I've got a bit of a routine I like to you know stick to that and then when we tried to stick to that and cook the army of flies was surreal. I don't know exactly what causes it, it could be a sanitation thing, I don't know.

But yeah, if you're staying somewhere, consider air conditioning because they'll even join you in the shower and they will usually, they will stick on you in the shower. is, yeah, it's a whole new level of... So yeah, that's the downside to it. But it is a lovely place. It is a nice place. Incredible. And in kind of going into social things in terms of when you've been traveling, you had chance to meet other expats of the...

Are there people doing house sharing? there people doing amazing things abroad? How has that worked? Because obviously if you're constantly hopping from destination to destination, you don't have the time to build deep meaningful relationships. But are you meeting people? Are you communicating online with people? How's that going for you? So, yeah, you're right. Sometimes when you're hopping from place to place, you're not always there long enough to actually build connections and meet people and stuff like that, as much as what you probably would.

I would say that first 12 months, no, because we was hopping so much, we were cramming so much in, just didn't have time to build connections. Unless I meet people in the bar or hotel and you have a chat and stuff, didn't really build those connections. But now we are slowing things down a little bit more because we want to, for various reasons, we want to take it in a lot more. Some of the things that we did in that first half were a bit of a blur because

James Doran (34:06.222)

getting excited and wanting to see this big wide world, but then now you're taking it all in. So now we're trying to stay a bit longer. We're trying to either extend the visa or like with Malaysia, you get 90 days at the moment as a UK national. So if we get there, we try and stay for that length of time and just trying to stay longer so we can chill, de -stress, take it all in and like you say, build those connections because it's very hard to do when you're moving around all the time, you know.

But yeah, you're right. I try and build more connections now and meet people. I mean, we're not staying in hostels and hostels are a great way to meet people. But that's not our vibe these days. I like my own space. I like my sleep. I'm a very light sleeper. And if somebody's snoring above me in a hostel bed, I'll be awake for the rest of the night. But that's a great way to meet people, even if you can just get to a bar.

But I do try and meet people and I meet people through my work as well through my coaching. So that's a great way to reach it out with people from around the world as well. But yeah, I do want to meet more people because it's good to have people to lean on, you know, and things go as well as wrong during travel. So it's good to build those connections and learn from other people, you know. Have you joined many Facebook groups or meet up the app on your phone, which people have hosted events going throughout the...

but any time or any which you can join, have you used those before or as an opportunity? I've used Facebook for Sri Lanka mainly. It was when I had an issue with the online visa, they were having some technical issues, I don't know, Facebook and me don't really get on. Facebook's not my favourite platform anymore, to be honest. think the purpose of Facebook has shifted a lot and it's gotten more business orientated than it has what it was originally designed for.

know a lot of the people that come into those Facebook groups will just want a moan and a rant and I just can't be bothered with it to be fair. So you know, you'll go in and ask a serious question and then you'll just get some smart ass comments half the time. So Facebook groups are not always my thing. It's the same one I asked about my husband's dive in and where people recommend I just got smart ass comments or whatever. But Meetup's really good. I actually met my husband at Meetup, believe or not.

James Doran (36:31.174)

no way. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What were you meeting up over? What was the meetup event? So I had not long split up with my ex partner and I really wanted to go out. I'd gone back living with mum for a bit and you know, going back to live with a parent can be a nightmare in itself for me and for her. And I was like, you know what, mum, I really want to go out. And I looked on Meetup and I found a comedy night back in Manchester. And I was like, do know what I could do with a laugh?

I need to just get out there. It was mid -week. I would not normally go out in the week. I was a nine to five worker, early to bed, early to rise. And I was like, I'm just going go out. Just go out on a little bit and watch this comedy and come back. And then my husband, my now husband was there. We had a laugh, we had a talk. But I left early because I was going work the next day. So yeah, I left early and I didn't actually say goodbye to him, which was pretty unfairness, but I just did something.

Then the next week there was another meet up and I had the bug and I said to mum, should we go to this casino night? Me and my mum and her partner. So we went to this casino night and he was there again. So I saw him there again and he got to know my mum and so walked me to the bus stop home and then we just ended up texting and then the rest is history and seven years later and we're married. So yeah, that was all on me.

home so it can be a great way to meet people. I don't necessarily always love because I didn't go on there for love but it's just a great way to build connections where people do want the same thing. Completely, yeah I used me to quite a lot whilst living in Sweden and it was wonderful for that because I got to do a lot of things. I met a hiking group which is wonderful. There was a group which every week they would go for a drink in the parks which in the summer is beautiful but also in the winter we go to

drinks in hotel bars and stuff like that. And there's all lots of sports and things which are on there, which is just a great thing. It's usually, there's a hobby for you. There's language cafes, there's writing clubs, there's various things that you can get involved with, which I always find really nice. And if there's not something, then you can always start one and people might want to come to you, which I think we meet up has been really good and great that you used it in Manchester.

James Doran (38:56.244)

usually have only known it for expats to use because it's a chance to just find organized kind of social events for people who don't know anyone in the area, is great to see that you use it locally, which is unusual but also wonderful. Yeah, and about my husband, well, you've actually reminded me that I might start using that again because when we get to the

chilly isles, my husband's gonna be busy diving for a couple of months, know, that's what it's gonna be doing to train to be an instructor. And, you know, maybe I can use that I get just to meet people, because it's only a small island, but it'll be nice to see if there's anything going on so that I can be doing something in my downtime, you know, rather than just my own the entire time, pretty much, you know. And work -wise, in terms of your clients, are you meeting clients whilst you're traveling or is it word of mouth?

How do you find promoting your kind of business? It can be a challenge, or at least it was a challenge moving around as often as I was. But now that I'm more settled in places for longer, it can be a little bit easier in terms of knowing what I've got going on ahead and not being as tired and having the time to really look. But it is a challenge because sometimes people want somebody within their country. Sometimes people are not.

willing to kind of go, okay, well doesn't matter where you are, what matters is can you give me results? But it's about changing people's mindset with that, but it can be a challenge, but it's just about putting myself out there as much as I possibly can, talking about my story, talking about the impacts that I've had on my own life and how that can impact others. So having a business, regardless of where you are, doesn't come without its challenges, but...

I'm more geared up for the challenge being where I am than if I was back in the UK because the climate and the environment is really important to me. It really kind of motivates me and inspires me to keep going. So it's case of get up every day and put myself out there because at the end of the day, if you're talking in an entering, nobody can hear you. So it's just about getting my name out there as much as possible, getting on podcast, you know, speaking to people, people.

James Doran (41:14.184)

And yeah, know, it's one of them with clients, they tend to come when you least expect it. Like most of my clients will come when I'm not outreaching. It'll be somebody who'll go, okay, you've seen your post about so and so, can we chat about X, Y, Z? And you're like, where did you come from? You know, people just kind of lurking in the background that come out to play eventually. And you know, this thing with clients, they do take a lot of encouragement.

and they need a lot of trust building before they're ready to commit to anything. Because a lot of people are scared of change, know? Change is a big thing. Completely, as you lived it, I suppose, in the last two years. It's important. good at the same time, yeah. But what vehicles are you using to find these clients? it LinkedIn? Is it online platforms? it podcasts and things? But guess assuming people who want to live abroad and do their own business might want to understand.

How can I possibly, you know, tender for potential business? I think it's about finding a platform that suits you and suits your niche. When I first started this, I naively thought, I've got to be in all the places. I've got to be in all the platforms. And yes, that's a good thing to do when you are more experienced and you've maybe got a wider team and a marketing team to do all that for you.

at the beginning, I was kind of doing that and spreading myself quite thin. And I would find that I would spend lots of time on content and then obviously pushing out to all these different channels. But then I realized, you know, lessons learned that no, need to zone in on my niche and then I need to decide exactly where my niche are, which is LinkedIn predominantly because I work with professionals. And that's where I need to be. That's where I need to spend most of my time.

Now don't get me wrong, I'll sometimes go on the other platforms, but like I say, Facebook isn't my best friend, it's just not the platform for me anymore. But if I'm ever a podcounst or something like that, I will share it a bit more widely because I want people to get the value from it, you know, as well. It's a lot of lessons and things people can learn from that. So sometimes I'll go a bit wider, but again, now I stick to one platform. So I would say at the beginning, find your platform, out exactly where your audience is and zone in on that.

James Doran (43:34.22)

really focus on that and then expand over time because it's just going to save you so much time as well, you know. Yeah, that's a great bit of advice for people who, yeah, maybe are in some situation where they are working remotely and are trying to tender for people to work with and be involved. I've spoken to a lot of life coaches and lot of expat coaches on this journey as well who are doing it all remotely and a lot of virtual assistants as well. It's quite an opportunity to live abroad. There's a lot of really, really cool and interesting kind of

jobs which allow you to kind of be anywhere in the world as long as you're supporting it. It's interesting to see how everyone's got their own different methods for making that kind of work for them. Is there anything else which you wish to talk about your life living abroad or should we go into the next section which is a review of your time? think the main thing I'd want to talk about is the lessons learned really. I don't really want to call them mistakes, I'd want to call them lessons because everything that you do could all bad.

a growth spurt, isn't it? It's a journey that you're on. I think for me, the main lesson that I've learned is just take time every day to build on your self -awareness and enjoy your journey. know, make sure you take all in and don't take anything for granted. Don't take a second for granted. And also really make sure that you focus on yourself and how you're feeling as well. Because there's been times where I've gone, I've not checked in with myself for a bit. How am I feeling? You know, my feet.

stress now? Is this really working for me? Is there anything that I need to change? So take the time I think to reflect on your journey and just how things are going and don't be too hard on yourself when things go wrong either. There was times when I used to blame myself and go what should I have done differently when actually I did everything that I could in that moment. You know it's about not being too hard on yourself. So yeah I think it's just about

enjoying the journey really and just being kind to yourself, know, and just appreciating that things will sometimes go wrong and everything's going to go right all the time. And the more you can embrace that, the better. Do you journal or anything cool? Sometimes I am a writer. I'll either write or if I don't want to write, I'll type. I've got an online journal or sometimes I'll just sit down and think about the forms.

James Doran (45:55.47)

One of them is a journal, could be journaled however you want, know, in your mind, paper or whatever. But yeah, sometimes good to reflect back and go, actually, this has been good, hasn't it, in the grand scheme of things, you know. It's like kind of, you know, sitting on a veranda or balcony at the 10 o 'clock at night or something and just like, you can be your husband or something, just going, this is great, isn't it? And then something that my girlfriend might have to do is we write letters to ourselves in the months time and...

we talk about it and say we want to, we've achieved X, Y and Z. Well done for doing that in the month ahead. And it just helps align your kind of short -term goals. And I'm going do long -term ones too, but I think it really helps me in terms of focusing because I'm quite scatterbrainy, suppose. I've actually many different things at the same time. So why, by doing that, I focus a bit more. That's a good tip, James. Are you a life coach as well by any chance? No, I'm an engineer. yeah, I wish I was, but I'm not.

Maybe one day. We'll get into section 3 then, which is a clear review of your time.

James Doran (47:03.566)

So welcome back to the podcast on level section three, which Katie, this is essentially a review of your time. So I've been saying I'm going to name this section, but I'm sticking to it being the review. So what I tend to ask my guests the first time is, know, what would you, if you could go back to yourself before you move and give yourself some advice or change something, what might that be? think the main advice I would have given myself is

I should have done this a lot sooner. But on the flip side, if you think about alignment, everything sort of tends to happen for a reason. So whilst I wish I would have done this sooner, I've obviously had to do it at this point for a reason. So it's kind of a bit of a double -edged one, that one. You know, that's kind of what I would say. I wish I would have done this sooner a long time, basically.

I guess you're just happy that you didn't put it off, like you mentioned at the start of the podcast when you were going to go. Yeah, I'm happy that I just took the plunge. like I say, know, COVID was a very difficult time, do not get me wrong. But for me, it was that catalyst for change. It really made me think, what do I want for the next chapter? You know, so it was fantastic for making me, almost forced me in a way to

turn my life around and do the things that I want to do, not the things that society deems I should do. Like there's nothing wrong with having a car, a house, a job, there's nothing wrong with those things. But at the same time, society does put a lot of pressure on us that we should have those things. But those things weren't making me In some cases, they were shackling me. The mortgage was shackling me. Yeah, the job.

going through, because I had a lot of bad experiences with jobs because I'm quite an empath and I'm a people pleaser and I'm a nice person. That seems to attract a lot of negative energy to me. I seem to get a lot of people that want to drain me of my energy and use me to feed their own negative energy. And yeah, you know, it's one of them. Like I just had to change my life around for me, for my next chapter and for my mental health as well. You know, just wasn't serving me anymore.

James Doran (49:29.102)

Like completely, what are you for acknowledging that which is the first thing to do and then having an opportunity to escape that kind of cycle which people don't often have the opportunity to get out of or they find it hard to because you there is that stress of we need to keep earning money every month the same amount of money you know keep paying the mortgage I need to

have this car and it's going on holiday every year or you know, if you have kids or anything it becomes stress but there's so many amazing stories of people who've just gone and done it differently and feel happier for it. The thing is yes the Covid situation was an opportunity for me but for anybody listening why I would say is even if you've got the fear try and feel the fear and do it anyway if it's something you want to do whether it's travel or whatever it is because

If you wait for the opportunity, you'll probably just put it off and put it off and maybe never do it. Whereas if you can take the plunge, you know, what's the worst that could happen is what I tend to ask myself now. You know, what's the worst that could happen if I did do it or I didn't do it? Well, for me, if I did do it, I'd end up feeling worse than if I did do it potentially. for me, it's about taking that plunge and quite a few people will.

sort of say, well, I've got children, I can't do it. But there's loads of people that travel with children. You know, it's about asking yourself, what do you want for your children? You know, what's going to give them the best quality of life as well as yourself? But there's loads of people that up sticks and take the children. You know, there doesn't need to be an excuse to stop you doing something that you want to do if you want it badly enough. Completely. Yeah, completely. That's a very, very good point. It's interesting there as well, because I've seen

I was going to ask you a bit more about kind of homesickness. So when you've been traveling and when you've been around, have you missed home points where it's seasonal things like Christmas or Easter or Guy Fawkes night or whatever, or for big birthdays or family or friends or have you missed certain parts of things whilst you've been traveling? Have you been able to go back home?

James Doran (51:40.6)

Probably more so at the beginning, but it was very, very brief and it would be for things like missing a roast dinner or missing an open fire or being in places that are very, very hot and you think, do know, actually I could just deal with the cold on my back for five minutes, you know, or missing family. Since this travel journey, I did lose my mom, unfortunately, and mom and me were very, very close. Now, I did initially...

miss home more because you think, well, that's a connection I had back there. But actually, strangely, I mean, I'll always miss my mum, she's never going to be forgotten. But now that that deeper connection to home has gone, it's making me miss home less, if that makes sense, because having that main family unit gone, it's like, well,

I wasn't really truly missing it anyway. I was only missing the roast dinners, which I can get abroad if I really want to, although it's not quite the same. But it was mainly that family unit. I haven't seen my dad since I was 17. I don't know if he's alive or dead at this point. I don't know. So, yeah, that's the main thing really. So now I miss home less, basically. But I will be going back to the UK briefly next year, actually, for a wedding. That's the only reason we're going back.

at this point. We've got a wedding of a friend. So we'll be heading back for a bit. I'm going to be using cold, I? Freezing cold. I'm really jealous of your tan, I imagine. So we're going back in October of all time. it's probably going to be cold. sometimes it stays warm quite late in the year. Now we're getting Indian summers. I hope so. August seems to the worst moment to visit. does it? Yeah.

probably going to get back the probably mid -October, stay for the wedding which is on Halloween because they're a big Halloween fan, so am I. And we'll probably go and leave again November. Don't know where we're going to be at that point, but it'll be wherever we choose after there. We'll be very much focused on Kieran's job. So Kieran's job in being a diving instructor will lead where we go because obviously the season is diving, so we will go wherever

James Doran (54:00.576)

season is and wherever the work is. yeah, possibly Malta actually. I've been to Malta before and it's very nice. Diving opportunities. Yeah, and Cosmo next year is good for diving as well. Obviously the Canary Islands are good for diving. Tenerife is quite good. A friend of mine who was trained to be a diving instructor in Tenerife. Don't know if she's doing any more. Yeah, so we'll be led by the work, but that's fine. It just makes it more of an adventure that way, doesn't it? You know, just where are we going now?

Completely. If you were to meet someone today or this week who wanted to follow in your footsteps and go on to house sitting and stuff, what advice would you give to them in order to achieve that? I would say the biggest thing that I'm going to say this because I'm a coach, so bear with me. The biggest thing I would say is really make sure you want to do it.

So really make sure it's within your core as to why you want to do this, why you want to travel. Because when times get difficult and hard, and it will, you can always bring yourself back to your why, like why am I doing it? So when times were hard for me, I would always think back to how life was before and how it really makes me feel down in my core. And that really helps to drive you forward. So really make sure it's something that you want to do because it will really push you forward to go for it.

And I would say have a plan, but don't plan too much like I did because it's tiring, it's stressful, it doesn't always get a plan and it becomes a job itself just to do the goddamn plan. So just have a loose plan and just embrace the fact that it is going to change and try and build your connections like we talked about earlier so that if things do go wrong, especially if you're a solo traveler.

you've got somebody to lean on, somebody to connect with, that's gonna watch out for you and give you bits of advice, because that can be invaluable, because there's loads of mistakes that we've made when you go into a country. You do a little bit of research online, but it actually turns out to be a different kettle of fish. So try and build your connections, because they know the country better than a lot of the online world does, you know.

James Doran (56:18.206)

And yeah, just embrace the journey. Don't listen to too many people that will try and talk you out of it and try and find all the reasons why you shouldn't do it. I had comments like, what are you running away from? Whereas actually I see it as what I'm running towards, because I wasn't running away from anything. I just had enough, just wanted a change. So yeah, don't listen to the negative mindset of others and just give it a go. And if you don't like it.

You can always revert that. There is always that option. Nothing has to be permanent. Completely. Yeah. I often say that unless you're fleeing a war zone or you're refugee or something, there's always an opportunity to go home if you're traveling and living abroad because that's the beauty of having an anchor as sweet back home, the other opportunity. But also, like you were saying, I think a lot of negative inputs you see

It can be somewhat realistic. Can be realism coming in from fellow members who maybe think, you're being quite optimistic about everything and maybe coming with some realism. When it comes from the people in online community or friends, people you don't really know that well, it just be jealousy or resentment because they wish they did it themselves or wish they were doing it. And it's a way of making them feel better about not doing it themselves, I often feel. you know.

If you get those negative comments and you get that stuff then it's probably more about them than about you. It's more about, you know, well, that's great. I'm sorry you haven't done that, but you know, I'm really enjoying it. You haven't got to lower my experience just to make you feel better. Please don't do that. I think always learn to ignore it or learn to ride that wave of, because that will happen eventually. I've seen the issue that they do often come in waves. But I'm sure everyone's got their own mechanisms for dealing with things.

This is why, as I mentioned earlier, knowing why you're doing it is important because when you are here with that negativity, you can use that why and that evidence as to why you're doing it and why it makes you happy to challenge other people. You know, when I first started travelling, I was here with the jealous comments, but I was also here with the nurture protection from my mom. And, you know, come out with this evidence as to why I want to do it and why it's making me happy and this, that and the other.

James Doran (58:42.646)

And they can't really argue with that then because you're giving them tangible evidence as to why it makes you happy and ultimately if somebody loves you, they want you to be happy. So, you know, they can't really argue with that. And what was nice as well before mum passed away is that she got to see me happy and, you know, she started to change her mindset then to become less guarded and more, what are you getting up to now? Show me your picture. Show me this.

That sort of energy that you can portray as a traveller, the people that you surround yourselves by is almost infectious then. The main people that genuinely care about you go, I like that. It can inspire them to push themselves out of their comfort zone. That's so lovely to hear. It must mean so much to you, Mermen, also to yourself that you had that kind of connection. I guess once you started travelling, it must have really...

brought a lot of joy to both your lives, be able to share those stories and those moments together. So yeah, it's wonderful. Yeah, and it was nice to kind of take my mum out of everything that was going wrong in the world because we still had the aftermath of COVID and, you know, slowly slipping into what's now become this recession, but we could kind of see it coming after COVID. So it was nice to take her out of that real world for a bit and into, I don't want to say a fantasy world because it was my reality, but it was more of a fantasy world for her just to kind of see the...

life can be happy out there. It doesn't always have to be doom and gloom and the way the media exaggerate things sometimes. doesn't have to be like that. You can live a happy life in the way that you want it. So was kind nice to do that. Is there anything else you wish to share about your life abroad? Is this a time where I can share about my free e -books and stuff like that? Is that a good thing to do? Yeah, of course. I was about to throw that to you now. I was just going to say...

Thank you for your time and thank you for being on this podcast and using your house -sitting opportunity to find a base in order to do it. And yeah, if you could show what people can find you and your work and everything you do, please do Navigate us to where that might I do have an unusual website these days because my original website, which was the wanderingcoach .co .uk,

James Doran (01:01:04.77)

What I was finding from people looking at it is people would always look at that first page, but then people would miss out the juicy good stuff on other pages. So create a more simple website where people can just find what they want straight away and it's changed. So I'll give it to you, but I'm going to give you the link as well just to make it easier for people to click on. But it's shake with a dot in the middle between the K and the E.

So now you know why I'm going to give you the link because it's been a weird one. But it's a very simple website. tells you about what I do. I do have several free books as well as a paid one as well, which basically cost you a pound for 60 pages of time management and how to get more control over your nine to five. I also have a book called Wonderwallet.

which goes into sort of like my travel tips and things I've learned along the way so people can get that as well. And quite a lot of other tools in terms of stress and time management. So if people want that, they can head there. And also if people are interested in working with me. So if you want to see if I can help you minimize your strengths and achieve your goals, then we can get on to why I call it de -stress compatibility session.

So we have a one -to -one for around an hour, just get to know one another on a bit of a deeper level. And you can tell me anything that you're going through, any stumbling blocks that you're dealing with, and I'll help you peel back the layers, help you get really sort of zoned in on your why, and then help you create a plan to achieve your goals in a way that makes you feel less stressed rather than thinking you've got to tackle everything at once. So helping you reclaim your time and minimize your stress.

If people want that, they can get that as well. And when you do book that, you also get a free coaching journal, which will help you journal, sort of like manifest your goals and kind of focus your efforts and make you realise that you're on the right track. So, yeah, that's how people can get in touch with me and that's how people can find out more about what I do. And all my socials are on there as well. Amazing. I'll be sure to let you know show notes and share it on my social media and...

James Doran (01:03:26.786)

I'm sure I'll find you on Nick Din and I'll tag you and all this stuff so people can find you that way too. get to sound to people and you know even if it just inspires one person to even if he's not travel but just take a leap into the unknown and just do something that you really want to do but then absolutely scared of doing then my job's done. That's what I want to do just get people to be the best version of themselves. Incredible.

Well, thank you and thanks for your time and thanks for sharing that information. And as always, if you haven't joined the podcast and have wanted to let us know about it, please let us know in the comments and please do like, share, subscribe, all that great stuff that we love to hear. And we'll see you next time. you, James. Take care.